Saturday, October 25, 2008

Bodily Function, Part II

To further our discussion of horrible bodily functions, I am terrified of vomit. My friends know this to be true: I shake when I hear what could be a bag opening on an airplane, I run in the opposite direction of drunk people and I refuse to eat or feed anyone anything that I think might have any potential to cause food poisoning. Jack would elaborate here, illustrating just how crazy I am; I'll share only this, I always smell milk served to the girls in restaurants, enough said. Having children has not changed this, as some thought it might. Perhaps I am more familiar but I still am horrified at the thought.

Imagine how happy I was tonight when, at our annual Halloween party, I leaned over to say hello to a friend of Mary and Kate's and she said "I just threw up on my costume". I snapped back and immediately inserted myself firmly into the space between my girls and Kelly. Her mother leaned down and said to her, "we don't have to tell everyone that dear". TELL EVERYONE? Are you kidding? Why are you here? What were you thinking?

Before going up to dinner, I insisted that we all wash our hands. Guess who came in the bathroom? Her mother seemed genuinely surprised that she was sick, yet again.

And here I am on my anti bacterial gel soapbox: please do not bring your children to public events when they are vomiting. You might think this need not be said, oh no, clearly there needs to be a gentle reminder now and then. Your child is sick, they might rather be at home, and you are exposing countless others to your illness.

I will now live the next three to four days on pins and needles. It's Halloween season, we have wonderful costumes to wear, please let us be healthy. Amen.


LMA said...

Not to mention that old dreaded smell of the granules the janitor put on vomit at school. We never did decide which had the more horrifying odor. I can feel your anxiety and revulsion from a thousand miles away. I'm so glad we share this phobia. Keeping my fingers crossed, dear.

OJS said...

Does this phobia also include dog vomit or is that a separate issue?

ally said...

Dog included and yes, I've seen plenty of that. All of it, terrified.


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