In The Market for a New Pillow

Many years ago, before Jack was a permanent fixture, I found myself stranded, very late at night, with no way to get home. There were no taxis, no trains, and at 3 a.m. I was stuck. So I called Uncle Kenny, who at the time, was simply Kenny, and he saved me. For that feat of heroism I bought him a needlepoint pillow that read, "It's the Friends You Call at 3 A.M. That Matter". Years later it's still on the sofa in his living room, but it looks a bit dated, he needs a new pillow.

I'm now in the market for a "It's the Friends Who Stay With Your Vomiting Child That Matter" needlepoint pillow. But I need two, because if Uncle Kenny wasn't wonderful enough, he now brings Uncle Ed who also signed up for a Saturday evening with a sick child. Between back pats and clean ups, they played Bokus, drew pictures, and fed Mary chocolate, scads of chocolate, while Jack and I stepped out to a very abbreviated version of a very fun party.

We've never really had a babysitter, much less a babysitter who would watch the girls when they were sick. We don't have grandparents, we don't have family willing to just hop in and help out, but we have uncles. Uncles who travel 500 miles to spend time with these girls, time that was supposed to be spent at the park and getting ice cream, but rather, was spent adoring one healthy child who reveled in the unprecedented undivided attention, while caring so well for the other.

These girls are so lucky, as are their parents.

One Day Until Tomorrow

Perhaps you have heard, the uncles are coming. In fact today is Uncle Eve, we've been counting down all week. Today alone Mary and Kate told 12 people, I counted: dry cleaner, coffee shop lady, friend on Broadway, soccer coach, Mom at soccer, taxi driver, elevator attendant at Wrigley, peanut vendor at Wrigley, fireman, deli lady at Whole Foods, cashier at Walgreens, and finally, a truly crazy woman on the bus. The very same woman who said "they ain't twins!" and I said that yes, they were, as I tried to move them past, but not before she got in, "well what's wrong with that one?", pointing to the much shorter Mary. Mary looked up, smiled, and said "our uncles are coming!". Nothing wrong here, nothing that three days with the uncles can't fix, thank you.

Two Days Plus Twenty Four Years

"Why did they only spend two days with us?"

Which is a question I can't really answer because the real question is, why do we live so far from those who love them so much? Two days with the uncles is never enough, even when those two days are full of Christmas lights and circuses and sushi, it's never enough, as far as Mary and Kate, and their mother, are concerned.

My childhood was full of aunts and grandparents, weekly visits and overnight stays with people who loved me, but Mary and Kate's is not. There are no grandparents here; Jack's family is in another state and not keen on traveling, and my own mother is self adhered to her house with a sticky glue unknown to most. But we have the uncles who think nothing of popping up for a few days spent with the "girlies", their mother and father being a distant afterthought once they arrive. Absolutely fine with me, Mary and Kate couldn't be happier than when perched on the shoulders of two adoring uncles, laughing wildly while being held so tightly that neither mother nor father could pry them away.

As we begin this week of family and friends and thankfulness, I am thankful for these two who come into our lives and remind the girls that families come in all shapes and sizes. While we are blessed with some, we are lucky enough to choose others, and 24 years ago, when Mr. Friendly popped his head into my dorm room, I had no idea that I was making a choice beyond late night study halls, this guy was going to be with me, and whatever else we became, forever.

And so, at the almost end of the circus, when I leaned over and whispered to Mary that we had to step out, that it was time for the uncles to leave, she looked back with huge teary eyes, amid bright lights and flying people, to ask why? Perhaps the answer is that two wonderful days are better than none, and the real blessing is that they will always be back, that you can count on, forever.

Naked Dancing

"Mom! I'm naked, ready for my bath!". It's 7:30 in the morning, I've barely begun to move and this child, this child who recoils in pain at the mere thought of a bath is naked and dancing happily about our small apartment looking for warm water and some soap. "Where is your sister?", as I groggily stretch out from under my warm comforter. "She's asleep, come on Mom, let's go!", more naked dancing, the neighbors must love this.

For five days they have been eagerly anticipating this day, starting each morning with "how many days today Mom?". Math not being their strong point right now we've had some whopping disappointments, Wednesday morning marked three days, as did Wednesday evening but when Thursday became the next day, it was confusing on a day to day basis. But today, today there was no confusion, today is the day we've been counting towards all week, today is Uncle Day.

Welcome, we're all so glad you are here.

House Messing

Uncle Kenny's house is pristine, immaculate, tidy and organized.

A sure sign that we have arrived,

and a clear reason never to leave.

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Happy Birthday dear friend, old friend. Of all the things in the world for which I am grateful, and despite your hosting of the Who Wants to Hit Ally website, you are amongst my greatest blessings.

What We Choose

People say that friends are the family you choose, people being sappy Hallmark cards, plaques often seen at tag sales and really bad Christmas ornaments. Here's what I choose:

These two must have felt like spending five days with vomiting children wasn't enough, they hopped on a plane, last minute, and flew up to be at Mary and Kate's birthday party. Surprise! If only they had thought to put large bows on their little heads.

At the zoo in Kansas City Jack and I found ourselves on the train all alone. The uncles had the girls, the girls were in zoo/train/uncle heaven and we had a quiet ride over to Africa, quiet amid the sound of elephants, screaming children and the annoying man next to us running a zoo v zoo competition with the Omaha zoo. For the record, Kansas City has a wonderful zoo, as does Omaha. But what I got out of this train ride was the sudden realization that I was relaxed, as relaxed as one could be in a zoo transit vehicle knowing that your children are in very good hands. I choose these two to be our family, and if I have to buy a needlepoint pillow to make my point so be it. Four sets of eyes trained on two little girls is a wonderful and peaceful feeling. Is this what it's like to have grandparents who live nearby?

I don't know that these two want to be grandparents but we would certainly have them. They love our girls, and we love them.