Monday, April 6, 2009

For the Love of A Pig, or Two

My policy on television has been revised. As much as I hate to admit this, I find that there are actually decent things for Mary and Kate to watch, several of their favorite book characters having recently been made into television programs.

George and Martha, delightful hippos, are best friends who allow Mary and Kate to consider loyalty, respect, silliness and honesty, and George is voiced by Nathan Lane. Who could say no to Nathan Lane?

Olivia is the swine equivalent to Eloise, one of my favorite childhood books. She is precocious, charming and has a picture of Eleanor Roosevelt hanging on her bedroom wall. Olivia is a dreamer who dreams of taking her place on the Supreme Court, and she accessorizes, what a snappy pig.

Also pigs, Toot and Puddle are best friends who live together in Woodcock Pocket. Toot and Puddle, like Mary and Kate, are similar yet different. Toot loves to travel, Puddle prefers to stay home. Toot shows Mary and Kate Africa and Ireland and Greece, Puddle teaches them it's alright to miss someone you love very much.

To be certain, I have not completely lost my mind. They are all recorded so I can speed through the horrible commercials aimed at children mid program. Every fast food outlet has paid for air time as well as all princess themed toys and movies. Being keenly observant, they miss nothing, and we are now realizing the after effects of the no television policy, they are mesmerized by anything on the telly. No matter where they are or what they are doing, if there is a television on, anywhere, they stop and stare. One day last week I found them both motionless on the sofa, staring at CNN.

And so it begins, the hard and fast rules breaking away; soon enough we will all eat with our hands, talk with our mouths full and discuss bodily functions at the dinner table. Someone is sure to ask to leave the table before we have all finished our meals! Our civil life, as we know it, is over and the future is certain to be tainted with ill manners, horrid behavior and vulgarities I dare to even consider.

What we must sacrifice, for the love a pig.

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