Every so often I am struck with this thought: who entrusted the care and well being of these children to me? Why on earth does anyone think that I am responsible enough to keep them healthy much less see that they are fed properly, have clean clothing (and bodies), make it to the restroom in a timely manner, and don't say things like "eat boogers". How did this happen? It's me who makes them breakfast every morning; why do we think I can do anything more than open a cereal box and pour milk? I existed on microwave popcorn and Minute Rice in college, at what point did I transform into someone who makes scrambled eggs with cottage cheese, blueberries, and wheat toast? How is it that they find clean clothing in their drawer everyday? What elf comes in and neatly stocks their closets? Was it me who put sweaters on them this morning when it was cool outside? I routinely stumble out of this place inappropriately weather dressed.
I spent Memorial Day weekend in Colorado with two of my best friends, celebrating a 40th birthday. The day after the party found us sitting outside eating breakfast on the patio, me furiously scribbling postcards to my children, who I would see later that day. Best Friend One to Best Friend Two "look at this, did you ever think you would see this? who is she?" I KNOW. I'm as shocked as anyone.
I almost always have band-aids in my purse, and wipes, and little international themed girl sticker books. Crayons, I'm usually good for a crayon or two, and lavender scented sanitizer hand wipes, I always have those. There is a small tube of sunblock, even now, and often a box or two of raisins. Seriously? This is my bag?
My dad and I had a similar conversation, long ago. I was leaving his house to drive home to my apartment, soon after I got out of college. I started out of the driveway, stopped, pulled back in and asked "how do you know I can find my way home? How do you not write out directions for me every time I leave here? How do you know I can do this?" And my dad, my amazing dad, laughed, clearly not sure that I could, and said "I just close my eyes and pray. Please call me when you get home".
He must have done something right, the elves have been busy around here. But who is putting all that stuff in my purse?