Friday, August 19, 2011

Our Health Care Crisis

Dick Durbin is down two arms, and he's been this way for quite some time. We've done our best, with tape and glue and a bandage fashioned from pink striped grosgrain. Great effort for short term results which always leave him loved and armless.

The time had come to seek professional help. Mary and Kate tottered in, Kate clutching Dick Durbin, knowing that soon they would have to part ways. She had prepared him well for his hospital visit, but clearly had not spent adequate time preparing herself.

The doll ladies were very nice, and very old.

"Oh, look at your dolly, what a wonderful little baby dolly you have there!"
Kate held on tighter, not wanting to relinquish control to this kind yet seemingly confused woman.

"What is your dolly's name? She is certainly a cutie!" Dick was wearing khaki pants and a Cubs jersey, nothing about his look said dolly or girl or cute.

Mary spoke up, "his name is Dick Durbin, he is my sister's doll". Thankfully Mary did not elaborate with her own doll's name.

The wrinkled fingers of the doll doctor pried the armless Senator from Kate's tight grip, "that's an interesting name. Does she go by Dickie?". It was clear that there was no way was Kate going to trust this woman with her precious doll.

The doll lady examined the patient, "oh my, she doesn't have any arms, or fingers! Where on earth are her fingers?".

"I chewed them all off, but I was much younger. I am now almost seven", said Kate with great authority.

It was as if this woman, who was at least 80 years old, had never before been faced with an armless and fingerless Senator Cubs fan doll in need of urgent care.

The octagenarian continued her exam and suggested we step out to wait for the diagnosis. After what seemed like hours an associate emerged from the exam room to deliver the news. They could repair the damage, they believed, but it was going to require major surgery. Apparently so, necessitating specialists from all over the doll world; the estimate provided for pre-authorization was twice what was initially paid for Baby Dick Durbin. And given that he does not have universal health care, we opted to forgo the surgery for now, to bring him home and provide the best care that we can here. Kate was elated, there would be no forced parting with her beloved Senator, but now the responsibility for medical repair falls to me yet again.

Super glue and grosgrain, I'm no surgical specialist but I can reattach an arm in an emergency. Which is just what this is; Kate and her senator are soon off to D.C. to meet the fully-limbed Senator Durbin. Best that our Dick Durbin have arms, to shake the hand of the real Senator. Arms, but probably not fingers, I'm not a miracle worker.

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