Thursday, May 26, 2011

Eatin' Good, Playin' Straight, Judging All

Re: Your invited to an exclusive event.

Really? It was Jack's invitation, in his inbox last week, and it's clear, as if one could possess an invited. How exclusive was this event? Actually a fairly big deal, a reception in New York, and yet, the person selected to extend the invitation didn't bother to proof read. Or perhaps they did, which is even worse.

In first grade my children are learning to edit and correct mistakes. They are learning when to use there, or their, and they know that there is a difference. Apostrophes make sense, capitalization is necessary and your and you're are two different words.

Didn't we all learn that in first grade?

If Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels did, he must have forgotten. In his recent statement announcing that he will not run for president he cited family concerns,“In the end, I was able to resolve every competing consideration but one. The interests and wishes of my family, is the most important consideration of all. If I have disappointed you, I will always be sorry.”

You betcha I'm disappointed, but not with anything having to do with the Republican nominees. The failure to review a very public statement, the lack of attention to detail, or, even more horrifying, the inability to spot a grammatical error, all are far more disappointing than the content of anything you have to say. This guy considered a run for president? Imagine the press statements, please.

Jack recently searched online for a golf course in Indiana, for a client meeting. This one, as described on their website, was immediately scratched from the list of contenders:

"We are a 18 hole golf course par 70. It is a great course to look around at. There are woods and water that come into play all around the course. You might see a deer or fox, or a owl setting there looking at you. All I can say is hit it straight when you come to the course."

My personal favorite is this description of the 12th hole: "Straight Shot hit it good you still comming to 15".

Hit it good? I know the perfect spot for drinks after shooting straight on the 18th hole. Applebee's recently tried to sell us on their homey surroundings with "eatin' good in the neighborhood". I fired off an email to company management complaining about the furthering of dumb thought to the American public. They chose not to respond.

In a society where people find it all too taxing to add the apostrophe to the words don't and won't, I find it hilarious that it is now commonplace to add that tricky punctuation at the end of the word, when typing that last letter is just far too much: goin', doin', and yes, eatin'. Better yet are the words where the apostrophe is misplaced, remembering that an apostrophe is required when you abbreviate a word, but not knowing exactly where. My favorite, and one seen frequently: lil', as in our lil' one, assuming they are shortening little. The apostrophe replaces the missing letter, it is not just thrown in for appearance, as in don't, for do not.

On the counter at my favorite bookstore is a copy of "I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar", an enticing small book that I have thus far resisted. It's true, I do judge, I make no apologies, and I ask that you judge me right back.

You're welcome.

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