Small Town News Trumps That Woman in Kentucky, Every Time

This morning, before the girls were awake, I spent my quiet morning time reading, as often I do. Regretfully I gave far too much of that precious time to the inane story of that women in Kentucky who has decided that her beliefs matter most. And once I was finished with her I went and read online comments which just frustrate me and make me worry about things far more global than my morning mind can handle. Disgusted with myself, I made myself another cup of tea and picked up Sunday's newspaper, the one delivered to my small town driveway late Saturday night, the one that has been sitting under magazines since Sunday morning. It's only two sections, no more than 8 pages in total, but I read it every week and enjoy catching up with the high school football team and the Humane Society Pet of the Week. For reasons not thoroughly understood I also read the obituaries, inside the front page, right next to the notes from the Circuit Court. It's never a long list but they are clearly written by close family members and include interesting details about the lives of their loved ones.

Today's column included Nell, who was born in Kentucky in 1926. Nell was widowed at 18 but went on to earn a teaching degree, with a major in home economics, which then took her from Kentucky to Michigan for a teaching position. She married a war veteran and went about juggling the demands of teaching and raising a family. Her six children gave her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was an aunt, sister and friend, but more importantly Nell was a Christian. We know this because it is the first thing listed in a long list of all the things that Nell was in her 89 years.

And there, in Nell's obituary, I found a tiny something that made all the time wasted reading about that other woman from Kentucky seem less important.

"Nell is survived by her son Joseph (Timothy) of St. Louis".

Listed with her other children and their spouses, Nell's son and his husband. Not the least bit newsworthy, just a part of Nell's grieving family. No woman in Kentucky can take that away from me, or Nell's family.

This is not a picture of Nell. My small town newspaper isn't really online and even if they were, I couldn't steal Nell's lovely photograph. Nor could I give any publicity to that other woman from Kentucky so here we have a picture of my grandmother, I just happen to like it. And I think she would have liked Nell.

Proud to be an American

Favorite Pride Photo
Mary, 2011

Now they've gone and done it, taken away one of my favorite subjects: marriage equality.  How can I complain and rant about the insanity of the state determining who I can and cannot marry? No longer must I point out that I don't care who you marry, as long as you're happy. There is no more comparing this quest to marry someone of the same sex to the idiocy that allowed states to tell us we had to marry those with matching skin color (not so long ago I'm afraid). Say so long to my lofty hopes and dreams that one day my children will find this subject as ridiculous as school segregation (oh wait, that might now happen). Gone are the cheers for Iowa and Illinois, and the boos for Kansas. Au revoir my old friend, I've never been happier to have so little to say.

But for all I've said thus far, it's here, most of it. My goodness, I've had so much to say, about marriage, as it can now officially be called.

Constitutional Law: 2025

On my schedule senior year in college: Spanish Literature, Math (the lowest level possible, for the 3rd or 4th time), some communications class, some English literature class, a political science class or two, and constitutional law, the only thing that really held my interest in that last semester. The final project was a very long and in depth paper researching a historic court decision, my assignment: Brown v. Board of Education.

Interesting case but as a 22 year old college student, whose class study partner was a person with brown skin, really difficult to understand. Brown originated not far from where I went to school, and was decided less than 40 years prior. My dad, who was in high school at the time of the Brown decision, tried to help me make sense of what I was reading but the truth was that it didn't make sense and it was maddening to think that the issues presented were ever so divisive as to require Supreme Court level intervention.

Someday, twelve years from now, my children might find themselves in a classroom, assigned to study and write about United States v. Windsor, and I hope they find it just as infuriating as I found Brown.

Is Equality a Fairy Tale?

Jack and I celebrated a wedding anniversary this past Sunday. To honor our 12 glorious years together, I spent part of last night making phone calls to my local legislators encouraging them to vote in favor of marriage equality in Illinois.

Thankfully 12 years ago, when we got married, the state of Illinois didn't question our commitment to one another. They were not interested in our future plans, including whether or not we planned on having, or adopting children. Nowhere on the application did they ask about our birth order, only the priest that married us hesitated when he found that we were both first born, a snag that does raise it's ugly head from time to time. And because I am a girl and Jack is a boy we were allowed to marry in the state we called home. It was, and still is, a legal union.

Nine states have now legalized same sex marriage, Illinois is poised to be the tenth.

Curious 8 year old Mary listened intently as I explained why voicing your opinion matters, and why this particular subject is of interest to me.

"Me too Mom, I'm going to make a list for you, of things to say". She came up with only one thing, "some things are fair and some things are not fair and this is not fair".

"You know I think this is a little like a fairy tale, when the dumb old King gets to decide who is to marry, and they don't even get to say what they think. Isn't this that way, when someone else gets to say if you can marry? Shouldn't you just get to marry who makes you happy?".

Tonight Mary will be making the calls.